84 This or That Pairs to Test How Well People Know Each Other

These how well do you know me questions this or that style are built for one specific purpose: one person answers, and the other person guesses, which turns a casual list into a proper scored game. Sixty seconds per question, no equipment, no app, and you will learn something you did not expect before round three is over. Works for couples, best friends, long-distance pairs catching up on video, or any two people who think they already know each other cold.

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How to Play

Sit facing each other. One player is the Subject for the full round, the other is the Guesser. The Subject reads each pair aloud, for example “Coffee or tea?”, and privately writes or holds their answer. The Guesser calls out which option they think the Subject chose. One point per correct guess, zero for wrong. After all twelve pairs in a round, swap roles and play the same round again so both players get a turn as Subject. Tally points at the end of all six rounds: the higher score means the better guesser, and the person with the most points overall is officially declared the one who pays more attention.

Round One: Daily Habits

Start easy, with the low-stakes rhythms that fill an ordinary day, the ones a close friend or partner thinks they already have memorized.

1. Morning shower or evening shower?
2. Alarm snooze or up at first ring?
3. Coffee or tea?
4. Breakfast at home or skip until lunch?
5. Make the bed every day or leave it?
6. Phone in bed or phone on the nightstand?
7. Slow mornings or out the door fast?
8. Playlist while getting ready or silence?
9. Check email first thing or ease in slowly?
10. Lunch at a set time or whenever?
11. Wind down with a screen or wind down without one?
12. In bed before midnight or after midnight?

Round Two: Food Preferences

Food opinions reveal more about a person than almost anything else, and disagreements here are always revealing.

1. Sweet or savory for breakfast?
2. Pizza with thick crust or thin crust?
3. Spicy food or mild food?
4. Cook at home or order in?
5. Sit-down restaurant or casual takeout spot?
6. Dessert after every meal or only sometimes?
7. Red sauce or white sauce on pasta?
8. Crunchy peanut butter or smooth?
9. Tacos or burgers?
10. Eat the same reliable meals or try something new every week?
11. Leftovers the next day or always fresh?
12. Salt everything or taste first?

Round Three: Style and Taste

Aesthetics, fashion instincts and weekend plans all live here, a round where small differences turn out to be surprisingly consistent.

1. Minimal wardrobe or lots of options?
2. Comfort dressing or put-together always?
3. Bold color or neutral palette?
4. Modern interior or cozy and layered?
5. Tidy desk or creative chaos?
6. Physical books or e-reader?
7. Podcast or music on a long drive?
8. Action film or character-driven drama?
9. Night out or night in?
10. Concert or theater?
11. Art museum or natural history museum?
12. Road trip or flight to a destination?

Round Four: Opinions and Values

This round asks about the things people feel strongly about, big-picture preferences that shape how someone moves through the world.

1. City living or somewhere quieter?
2. Routine and stability or variety and change?
3. Work to live or live to work?
4. Own a home or rent and stay flexible?
5. Large social circle or a few close people?
6. Save money aggressively or spend and enjoy now?
7. Plan everything in advance or decide as you go?
8. Ambitious career goals or satisfied where things are?
9. Travel as often as possible or invest in one comfortable home base?
10. Pets are essential or life is easier without them?
11. Celebrate birthdays with a big event or keep it low-key?
12. News and current events every day or deliberate distance from them?

Round Five: The Hard Round

The questions here do not have comfortable answers, which is exactly the point: guessing correctly on this round actually proves something.

1. Apologize first even when not entirely at fault, or wait?
2. Tell a hard truth that might hurt or stay quiet to protect the other person?
3. Forgive quickly or need real time?
4. Say what you need directly or hint and hope someone notices?
5. Confront a problem the same day or sit with it before responding?
6. Prioritize the relationship or prioritize being right in an argument?
7. Let go of a grudge fully or remember it while moving on?
8. Highly sensitive to criticism or it mostly rolls off?
9. Overthink decisions or commit quickly and adjust later?
10. Get quiet when stressed or talk it through?
11. Fear missing out or genuinely happy to skip things?
12. Need reassurance often or run comfortably on independence?

Round Six: The Scoring Round

The final round doubles every correct guess to two points, so a comeback is still possible and no one coasts to the finish.

1. First to say sorry in a disagreement or last?
2. Needs the window seat or happy anywhere on the plane?
3. Keeps a journal or never has?
4. Checks the bill closely or trusts it?
5. Falls asleep to noise or needs complete quiet?
6. Gives gifts that required thought or goes straight to the wish list?
7. Remembers anniversaries without reminders or relies on alerts?
8. Strong opinion about the correct way to load a dishwasher or genuinely does not mind?
9. Texts back immediately or leaves it until later?
10. The one who suggests plans or the one who says yes when asked?
11. Hates being late or consistently cutting it close?
12. Would rather give a speech to strangers or have a difficult one-on-one conversation?

How to Keep It Moving and When to Stop

Set a timer before you start. Ninety seconds per question is generous; sixty is better. The pressure of the clock stops people from negotiating their own answer mid-round, which is a real risk with this format.

If a pair genuinely stumps the Subject, they can pass once per round. Not twice. One pass. The Guesser scores zero for a passed question automatically, which keeps passing from becoming a strategy.

Stop after Round Six on a first play. The game earns its impact from the escalation, and adding informal extra questions after the final tally dilutes the score. If you want to play again, swap who picks the rounds and run it in reverse order from six back to one. The questions land differently when you already know some of the answers.

For a broader bank of this or that questions to extend any round, there are ready-made lists that slot straight into this format. And if the group wants a longer evening, the flirty truth or dare questions for couples make a natural second game once the scoring is done.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many players do you need for this game?

Two. The format is built entirely around one person answering and one person guessing, so it works best as a game for couples, close friends or any two people who know each other well. It does not scale to groups without a format adjustment.

How long does a full game take?

Roughly 45 to 60 minutes for all six rounds when both players take a turn as Subject each round. If you want a shorter session, play three rounds and save the rest for another time.

Is this game appropriate for a first date?

Rounds One, Two and Three are comfortable for an early date. Rounds Four, Five and Six go deeper and work better once you already know someone reasonably well. Play to the comfort level of the room.

How do you print the card sheets?

Download and print on standard letter-size or A4 cardstock for the best feel. Laminating the sheets before cutting adds durability. A sharp paper trimmer on the cut lines gives cleaner edges than scissors.

Can you play remotely over video call?

Yes. The Subject reads each pair aloud, writes their answer privately on paper, and then reveals it after the Guesser calls. Both players track their own scores and compare at the end of each round.

What happens if there is a tie?

Play one sudden-death round: each player picks three pairs from any earlier round, the other person guesses, and the first to pull ahead by two points wins. If you genuinely tie that too, the answer is that you know each other equally well, which is its own result.