72 Silly Would You Rather Questions for Children Who Want Nonsense

Silly would you rather questions need exactly two things: both options must be genuinely terrible, and the room must split straight down the middle. These 72 prompts are sorted into six rounds that get progressively more unhinged, so a rainy afternoon can go from giggles to full chaos in under an hour.

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How to Play

Read a question aloud and count to three. On three, every player points left for Option A or right for Option B at the same time, no changing your mind once arms are out. Anyone who refuses to choose has to do a silly noise of the group’s choosing. Work through the round in order, then vote on the funniest answer before moving to the next round. No score, no winner, no losers: the only point is the argument about which option is worse.

Round One: Ridiculous Food

Food questions land every time because every kid has a strong, completely irrational opinion about what goes in their mouth, and these twelve pairs are designed to make both options equally horrifying.

1. Would you rather eat a bowl of cold spaghetti for breakfast every day OR drink a glass of warm pickle juice with every meal?
2. Would you rather have ketchup instead of toothpaste OR mustard instead of shampoo?
3. Would you rather eat a whole raw onion like an apple OR lick a block of butter like an ice cream cone?
4. Would you rather have pizza that tastes like cotton candy OR cotton candy that tastes like pizza?
5. Would you rather only be able to eat with your elbows OR only be able to drink through your ear?
6. Would you rather sneeze glitter every time you eat OR burp soap bubbles every time you drink?
7. Would you rather have fingers made of breadsticks that grow back when you eat them OR hair made of licorice that you have to trim by chewing?
8. Would you rather eat one spoonful of mayonnaise before every meal for a year OR eat one spoonful of hot sauce before every meal for a year?
9. Would you rather have all your food taste like cardboard but look delicious OR look like cardboard but taste amazing?
10. Would you rather drink a smoothie made of vegetables you hate but it tastes like chocolate OR drink a smoothie made of your favourite fruits but it tastes like socks?
11. Would you rather have to sing the full alphabet song before every bite OR spin in a circle before every sip?
12. Would you rather eat a sandwich where the bread is replaced by two giant crackers that crumble everywhere OR a sandwich where the filling is replaced by one single leaf of lettuce?

Round Two: Talking Animals

The moment you add a talking animal, a perfectly normal situation becomes completely absurd, and these twelve pairs prove that rule without exception.

1. Would you rather have a parrot that only repeats the most embarrassing thing you said that day OR a dog that narrates everything you do in a loud sports-commentary voice?
2. Would you rather have a penguin as your best friend who waddles beside you everywhere OR a sloth as your best friend who takes forty minutes to hug you back?
3. Would you rather be able to talk to insects but they all complain constantly OR be able to talk to fish but they only speak in riddles?
4. Would you rather have a cow that follows you to school and moos during class OR a chicken that follows you to school and lays an egg on your desk every hour?
5. Would you rather have a cat that gives you honest, very harsh feedback on your drawings OR a hamster that gives you extremely enthusiastic feedback on everything but never stops talking?
6. Would you rather be carried to school every day by a giant friendly tortoise OR be flown to school every day by a very nervous pelican?
7. Would you rather have a goldfish that sings you to sleep every night OR a frog that tells you a bedtime story but always forgets the ending?
8. Would you rather have a goat that eats one piece of your homework every week OR a rabbit that rearranges your bedroom furniture every night?
9. Would you rather have a talking crab as your school librarian OR a talking seagull as your school lunch supervisor?
10. Would you rather swap voices with a duck for one full day OR swap laughs with a hyena for one full day?
11. Would you rather have a whale that texts you good morning every day but the messages are always three hours too early OR a dolphin that calls you every evening but only wants to talk about the ocean?
12. Would you rather have an elephant that remembers every secret you have ever told anyone OR a pigeon that delivers all your messages but always reads them aloud first?

Round Three: Silly Bodies and Sizes

Size and body questions are instant chaos because kids immediately start picturing the logistics, and the logistics are always ridiculous.

1. Would you rather have arms that are three times too long OR legs that are three times too short?
2. Would you rather have a head the size of a watermelon OR feet the size of surfboards?
3. Would you rather be able to stretch your neck like a giraffe but only when you are nervous OR puff up like a balloon when you are excited?
4. Would you rather have ears that spin like propellers when you run OR a nose that honks like a bicycle horn when you sneeze?
5. Would you rather have a tail like a golden retriever that wags every time you are happy OR antlers like a moose that grow one centimetre every time someone tells a bad joke?
6. Would you rather be the size of a mouse for one whole week OR be three times your normal height for one whole week?
7. Would you rather have eyes that glow in the dark like a cat OR teeth that light up like a torch when you open your mouth?
8. Would you rather have hands that are permanently sticky like tape OR hands that are permanently slippery like butter?
9. Would you rather your tongue turned blue every time you told a small fib OR your eyebrows jumped off your face every time you were surprised?
10. Would you rather your hair grew one centimetre every time you laughed OR shrank one centimetre every time you yawned?
11. Would you rather have a belly button that whistles when the wind blows OR kneecaps that rattle like maracas when you walk?
12. Would you rather be able to detach your thumb and use it as a remote control OR be able to detach your ear and use it as a phone?

Round Four: Impossible Weather

Impossible weather questions work because every kid instantly starts imagining the walk to school, and the walk to school sounds absolutely unbearable in every scenario.

1. Would you rather it rained spaghetti every Tuesday OR snowed mashed potato every Friday?
2. Would you rather live in a place where the wind always smelled like popcorn OR where the rain always felt like a warm bath?
3. Would you rather have a personal cloud that followed only you and rained on just you OR a personal tiny sun that hovered over only you and was slightly too bright?
4. Would you rather it hailed gummy bears but they hurt when they hit you OR it snowed cotton wool that got in your eyes and mouth?
5. Would you rather live somewhere it was always foggy and you could only see one metre ahead OR somewhere it was always so sunny you needed sunglasses to look at anything, including your cereal?
6. Would you rather have weather that matched your mood exactly so when you were grumpy it thundered OR weather that did the opposite so when you were happy it poured with rain?
7. Would you rather live somewhere it rained exactly once a year for twelve hours straight OR rained every single day for exactly four minutes?
8. Would you rather have tornadoes made of autumn leaves that chased you gently around the garden OR waves made of foam that kept washing through your house?
9. Would you rather have a rainbow that appeared only when you made a bad decision OR lightning that struck every time you used the wrong word?
10. Would you rather it always felt like the first cold second when you step outside on a winter morning OR always felt like the first blast of heat when you open the oven door?
11. Would you rather live in a place where it snowed upwards OR in a place where puddles were always exactly one centimetre deeper than your boots?
12. Would you rather the sky be permanently green OR the sun be permanently square?

Round Five: Absurd Rules

Rules questions hit different because every child has a deeply held opinion on fairness, and each of these absurd scenarios is specifically designed to make fairness impossible to find.

1. Would you rather live in a world where everyone had to hop on one foot whenever they moved indoors OR crawl on all fours whenever they moved outdoors?
2. Would you rather have to bow like a butler every time you entered a room OR curtsy every time you left one?
3. Would you rather live by a rule that you had to speak in rhyme every time you asked a question OR speak in a whisper every time you gave an answer?
4. Would you rather live in a world where all chairs were banned and everyone had to sit on the floor OR all floors were banned and everyone had to stay on furniture?
5. Would you rather have a rule that you had to clap twice before every sentence you said OR snap your fingers twice after every sentence someone else said?
6. Would you rather live in a world where all doors opened outward so you always had to back away to leave a room OR all doors opened sideways so you had to shuffle through them like a crab?
7. Would you rather have a rule that you had to high-five every mirror you walked past OR wave formally at every window you looked through?
8. Would you rather live in a world where everyone had to introduce themselves by their middle name only OR by a made-up title they invented themselves?
9. Would you rather have a rule that all books had to be read backwards, last page first OR all films had to be watched from the middle, then the end, then the beginning?
10. Would you rather live somewhere socks were illegal and no one could explain why OR shoes were compulsory indoors but banned outdoors?
11. Would you rather have a rule that any food dropped on the floor immediately tripled in size OR any food left on your plate at the end of a meal vanished completely so you never knew what happened to it?
12. Would you rather live in a world where birthdays were celebrated on the wrong day every year, chosen randomly, so you never knew when your party was coming OR celebrated on the right day but always at an inconvenient time like 3am?

Round Six: The Silliest Round

This is the round with no logic left, where both options are equally unhinged and the only correct response is a noise that cannot be spelled: save it for when the room is already warmed up and ready for pure, undiluted nonsense.

1. Would you rather have a theme song that played every time you walked into a room and you could not turn it off OR have your thoughts appear as subtitles above your head that everyone could read?
2. Would you rather sneeze confetti but it gets in everyone’s eyes OR hiccup in a different accent each time?
3. Would you rather your laugh sound exactly like a seal OR your sneeze sound exactly like a car horn?
4. Would you rather only be able to express excitement by doing jazz hands OR only be able to express sadness by playing a tiny invisible violin?
5. Would you rather live in a house where every room was upside down OR a house where every room was sideways so you had to tilt your head to use anything?
6. Would you rather speak every sentence in reverse word order so the last word came first OR speak every sentence in alphabetical word order regardless of what you were trying to say?
7. Would you rather your shadow did a completely different dance than the one you were doing OR your reflection waved back one second after you did?
8. Would you rather swap personalities with your backpack for a day so you were carried everywhere and stuffed full of things OR swap personalities with your pillow so you just lay there being very comfortable but unable to move?
9. Would you rather have a pet cloud that rained only on things you were bored of OR a pet wind that blew away only things you had finished with?
10. Would you rather wake up one morning and discover gravity was sideways OR wake up one morning and discover time ran backwards only on Wednesdays?
11. Would you rather every time you blinked you teleported three steps to the left OR every time you yawned you teleported three steps backwards?
12. Would you rather be the last person on earth who could see colour OR the only person on earth who could hear music?

How to Keep It Moving and When to Stop

The fastest way to kill a good round is to let the debate go on too long. Give each question thirty seconds of arguing, then call it and move on. If someone cannot decide, they pick the one that makes them laugh more: that rule solves every deadlock instantly.

Watch for the moment the volume drops. When answers start coming slower and the giggles thin out, that is the natural stopping point, usually after four or five rounds. Stopping there keeps everyone wanting more. Pushing through two extra rounds turns the best game of the afternoon into something everyone remembers as going on a bit too long.

If one round lands better than the others, run it again with players making up their own options. The homemade questions are almost always the funniest ones. For more back-pocket questions that work exactly the same way, the full collection at 120 Would You Rather Questions for Kids is a reliable next stop, and 120 This or That Questions for Quick Fun slots in perfectly when you want a faster, lower-noise version of the same energy.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many players do you need for silly would you rather questions?

Two players can go head to head, but the game is loudest and most fun with four to ten kids. Bigger groups split into more camps, the arguments get better, and the voting is more satisfying.

What age are these silly would you rather questions suitable for?

The questions work well from about age five upward. Younger children love the food and animal rounds. Older kids, from around eight or nine, get the most out of the absurd rules and the silliest round.

How do you print the card sheets?

Print on standard printer paper for a quick game, or use 250gsm cardstock for cards that survive the afternoon. Laminate after printing if you want to reuse them. Cut along the dashed lines, punch a hole in one corner and thread a binder ring through to keep each round together.

What do you do if a child cannot choose between the two options?

Give them ten seconds, then make them pick the one that makes them laugh harder. That rule keeps the game moving and almost always produces the funnier answer anyway.

Can kids make up their own questions?

Yes, and the homemade ones are usually the best ones in the room. After running a round or two from the cards, invite each player to invent one question for the next round. Warn them both options have to be genuinely bad choices.

Do you need any equipment to play?

Nothing at all. Read the questions from a phone or a printed sheet, have players vote by pointing, and keep going. The cards are a bonus for parties or rainy afternoons where a physical object helps hold attention.