72 Would You Rather Questions for Parents Who Need to Laugh

These would you rather questions for parents are built around one shared truth: every option is something you have genuinely weighed at 6am in your own kitchen. Six rounds, 72 questions, zero polite fictions. Grab a drink, print the cards, and find out which parents in the room are holding it together in exactly the same desperate way you are.

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How to Play

Read a question aloud and give everyone five seconds to commit to an answer. Hold up a hand, shout it out, or vote with feet (one side of the room per option). No explaining, no hedging, no “it depends” until after the vote. Work through all 12 questions in a round before moving on. Six rounds of 12 makes 72 questions total, which runs roughly 45 minutes at a lively pace. Use the printed cards to host without a phone in your hand: one reader, cards face-down in a stack, flip and go.

Round One: Sleep and Mornings

Every question in this round will produce a noise from the group before anyone has answered it.

1. Would you rather your child wakes you at 5am every day for a week OR comes into your bed silently and just stares at you until you sense them and wake up screaming?
2. Would you rather do the school run in yesterday’s clothes OR arrive perfectly dressed but 15 minutes late every single day?
3. Would you rather your child refuses all breakfast foods OR eats one specific breakfast but only if you prepare it in a ritual that takes 25 minutes?
4. Would you rather function on five broken hours of sleep OR six solid hours but interrupted once by a child who just wants to tell you something they dreamed?
5. Would you rather deal with a child who wets the bed once a month OR a child who gets up three times a night for a full glass of water?
6. Would you rather your child screams through every morning routine for a year OR completes the routine silently but refuses to leave the house until you have counted to ten with them?
7. Would you rather find your child has redecorated their room with your lipstick at 6am OR has fed the contents of the fridge to the dog before you came downstairs?
8. Would you rather be the parent who does every morning every day for six months OR the parent who does every bedtime every night for six months?
9. Would you rather your toddler wakes at 5am but is cheerful OR wakes at 7am but is in a fury for the first hour?
10. Would you rather step on Lego barefoot in the dark every morning for a month OR deal with a car seat buckle that will not clip in the cold for a month?
11. Would you rather your child eats only beige foods at breakfast OR refuses any food that has touched another food on the plate?
12. Would you rather your child learns to pour their own cereal and floods the kitchen OR refuses to and you do it forever?

Round Two: Mess and Chaos

This round separates the parents who have made peace with entropy from the ones still fighting it.

1. Would you rather your child empties every toy bin in the playroom daily but tidies it themselves OR keeps one corner tidy but hides mess inside cupboards you find six months later?
2. Would you rather deal with glitter spilled on the carpet OR slime left on the sofa overnight?
3. Would you rather your child puts muddy boots directly on the sofa OR leaves them at the door but knocks the coat rack over every single time?
4. Would you rather find an entire toilet roll unrolled in the bathroom weekly OR discover your child has been using face wipes to clean the toilet?
5. Would you rather your child draws on the walls with crayon OR cuts their own hair with your good scissors?
6. Would you rather mop up a spilled full cup of juice three times a day OR scrape dried cereal off the table every morning for a year?
7. Would you rather your child shreds every magazine and letter that arrives OR dismantles pens and leaves the ink parts on the carpet?
8. Would you rather find a collection of half-eaten snacks hidden under your child’s bed OR find that your child has been feeding their vegetables to the houseplants for weeks?
9. Would you rather deal with a child who strips naked and runs the moment you open the back door OR one who insists on wearing shoes in bed?
10. Would you rather find all your good Tupperware used as outdoor sand containers OR discover your child has posted several spoons through the back of the radiator?
11. Would you rather your child pours an entire bottle of bubble bath into the tub every bath time OR uses your shampoo to wash their toys?
12. Would you rather clean a car covered in small sticky handprints every week OR peel dried stickers off every surface in your house once a month?

Round Three: School Run and Admin

The administrative load of parenthood has never been funnier than when someone else also looks like they are drowning in it.

1. Would you rather receive a school newsletter every day with 14 action items OR receive one per term but miss a crucial event every time?
2. Would you rather your child announces a bake sale the night before OR remembers to mention non-uniform day only after arriving at school in uniform?
3. Would you rather sign 30 permission slips in one week OR deal with one slip you cannot find again for six weeks?
4. Would you rather do the school run on foot in the rain every day for a term OR do it by car but never find a parking space and circle for 15 minutes every time?
5. Would you rather your child loses their coat every single week for a year OR loses one irreplaceable item once and talks about it forever?
6. Would you rather pack a lunch box for a child who rejects it and comes home with it untouched OR buy school lunches your child actually eats but complains about every day?
7. Would you rather attend a school play where your child has a main part and forgets all their lines OR attend one where your child is a tree and is deeply offended about it?
8. Would you rather fill in a school reading diary every night for a year OR help with a big school project every weekend for an entire term?
9. Would you rather your child gets a part in every school show and you attend twelve performances OR your child never gets a part and wants to quit?
10. Would you rather fund-raise for your child’s school by selling overpriced raffle tickets to your colleagues OR by doing a sponsored silence with your child for 24 hours?
11. Would you rather manage a group chat of 40 parents OR be the class parent rep who has to send messages into that group?
12. Would you rather your child switches best friends every two weeks and you must track all of it OR has one best friend but they fall out dramatically once a month?

Round Four: Screen Time Battles

Every parent in the room has a policy, and every parent in the room has already broken it this week.

1. Would you rather your child watches the same 22-minute episode of one show on loop for three months OR asks to watch something new every single night and you must vet it first?
2. Would you rather field 40 “can I have the tablet” requests every Saturday OR deal with one enormous meltdown when you say yes and then have to take it away?
3. Would you rather your child only wants to watch content that teaches them something genuinely dull OR only wants to watch content featuring someone else playing video games?
4. Would you rather your child learns a real skill from YouTube but spends six hours a day watching it OR learns nothing from screens but argues for screens constantly?
5. Would you rather the wifi goes down every Sunday for a year OR the wifi works perfectly but your child asks what “the wifi password” is in front of every guest?
6. Would you rather your child is obsessed with a show that has 14 seasons and expects you to watch it all OR is obsessed with a film and watches it every single Friday night for a year?
7. Would you rather enforce a screen-free week once a month OR allow unlimited screens one day a week and no screens the other six?
8. Would you rather your child gets extremely invested in an online game and talks about it at every meal OR refuses all games and just watches unboxing videos?
9. Would you rather find your child has racked up in-app purchases you did not authorise OR has given your email address to a mailing list and you get 20 emails a day?
10. Would you rather your child insists on showing you every video they find funny OR gives you a full verbal recap of an episode rather than just letting you watch it?
11. Would you rather win the screen time battle with a child who argues back intelligently OR a child who just goes silent and finds another screen you forgot existed?
12. Would you rather your child announces at dinner that they want to be a “content creator” OR announces they want to buy a gaming chair for their bedroom?

Round Five: Holidays With Children

The holiday question splits the room faster than anything: the ones who have tried it and the ones still planning to.

1. Would you rather do a long-haul flight with a toddler OR a seven-hour car journey with a child who gets travel sick?
2. Would you rather stay in a self-catering cottage and cook every meal on holiday OR stay in an all-inclusive where your child eats only chips from the buffet?
3. Would you rather holiday somewhere your children love but you find actively boring OR somewhere you love but your children treat as a personal affront?
4. Would you rather pack for four people for two weeks in one case OR pack light but do laundry every three days on holiday?
5. Would you rather your child gets a mysterious illness on day one of seven OR is completely fine but causes a scene at every restaurant you try to enjoy?
6. Would you rather spend a holiday at a children’s theme park where the queues are two hours long OR a beach holiday where your child refuses to go in the sea and complains about sand?
7. Would you rather take a camping trip where your child loves it but you sleep terribly for five nights OR a hotel stay where your child hates the room and asks to go home every evening?
8. Would you rather your child loses a shoe on day one of the holiday OR leaves a beloved toy on the plane?
9. Would you rather holiday with another family whose kids get on brilliantly with yours but whose adults have completely opposite routines OR holiday alone with your kids but in a resort full of other children your child is desperate to befriend?
10. Would you rather navigate a foreign city on foot with a tired child and no buggy OR use public transport with a child who refuses to stay in their seat?
11. Would you rather deal with a child who wakes up at 5am in a different time zone for the whole trip OR a child who is fine on holiday but takes three weeks to readjust to their normal bedtime when you get home?
12. Would you rather take a holiday that costs twice your budget but runs smoothly OR a budget holiday where everything goes slightly wrong but in ways you will laugh about later?

Round Six: The Round That Hits Home

This is the round where the laughter gets slightly more complicated, because every question here is something every parent has privately wondered at 11pm.

1. Would you rather your child is exactly like you as a child, with all your habits, OR exactly like your partner as a child, with all of theirs?
2. Would you rather be the parent who always says yes and deals with the fallout OR the parent who always says no and deals with a child who asks the other parent instead?
3. Would you rather your child tells you everything and you can never un-know any of it OR tells you nothing and you piece it together from other parents at the school gate?
4. Would you rather win every argument with your child but have them stop arguing with you entirely OR never win an argument but know they feel safe enough to always push back?
5. Would you rather have a child who is wildly popular and never home OR a child who is a homebody and always around but needs constant company?
6. Would you rather your child phases out physical affection at age five OR stays physically affectionate until they are a teenager and does it in public?
7. Would you rather your child grows up to be exactly what you hoped for them but moves to the other side of the world OR stays nearby but takes a path you never imagined?
8. Would you rather your child is brutally honest with you always OR tells small white lies to protect your feelings?
9. Would you rather be remembered by your child as the fun parent who never had a plan OR the organised parent who planned everything and missed some spontaneous moments?
10. Would you rather your child inherits your worst habit OR your greatest fear?
11. Would you rather spend one full weekend a month completely alone OR spend every weekend with your family but get two guaranteed hours of total silence each day?
12. Would you rather have had your children three years earlier than you did OR three years later?

How to Keep It Moving and When to Stop

The best rounds end before the energy does. If a question lands and people are still talking, let it breathe for 30 seconds and then move on: the side conversations are the point, not a problem. Keep a light hand on the pace and skip any question that feels flat in the room without apology.

A good natural stopping point is after Round Four, especially if children are anywhere nearby and bedtimes are looming. Rounds Five and Six are stronger when the group is properly warmed up and slightly less inhibited, so save them for a later sitting if the energy dips early. You do not need to play all 72 questions in one go.

If the group is competitive, keep a loose tally of which option wins each round and crown the majority position at the end: “this group would rather step on Lego than deal with a wet bed.” It gives the evening a shape without requiring scorekeeping. For a bigger crowd, birthday party games for adults has format ideas that work well when you are managing a larger room. If you want a change of mechanic after a few rounds, 150 Truth or Dare Questions for a Fun Night with Anyone transitions naturally from this one. Print the cards on cardstock, cut them out, and store them with a binder ring so the deck is ready the next time someone suggests a get-together.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many players do you need for Would You Rather for parents?

The game works with as few as four people and scales easily to 20 or more. Larger groups are actually louder and more fun because the room splits visibly and the debate starts itself.

Do you need to play all six rounds in one sitting?

No. Two or three rounds is a natural stopping point for a casual get-together. Rounds Five and Six land better when the group is warmed up, so save them for later in the evening if energy allows.

How do you print and use the card decks?

Print each sheet on cardstock, cut along the lines, and keep each round together with a binder ring or a small elastic band. One person reads the cards aloud while the group votes: no phones or screens needed.

Is this game appropriate for a mixed group of parents who do not know each other well?

Yes. Rounds One through Four are light and funny with no personal disclosure required. Rounds Five and Six go slightly deeper and work best once the group has loosened up. Start at Round One and read the room.

Can you use these questions as an icebreaker at a school event or parent evening?

Absolutely. Five or six questions from Round One or Round Three are enough for a five-minute icebreaker. Print a single sheet, pass it to a facilitator, and move on before it overstays its welcome.

What is the best way to handle a question that divides the room 50-50?

Let it run for an extra 30 seconds and pick one person from each side to defend their choice in one sentence. That is usually the funniest moment of the round and you can move on immediately after.