72 This or That Pairs for a First Conversation

These this or that questions to get to know someone do the hard work of the first hour, the part where everyone is polite, slightly stiff, and not yet sure what to say. Seventy-two pairs are split into six rounds that start completely impersonal and inch toward the real stuff only after the room has warmed up. Print the cards, deal them out, and let the choices start the conversations.

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How to Play

One person reads a pair aloud, or players take turns flipping a card. Everyone in the group commits to an answer before anyone explains, either by raising a hand, holding up a finger, or calling it out. After the room splits, anyone who wants to say why can, but no one has to. Play all twelve pairs in a round before moving to the next, or stop whenever the conversation takes over on its own. No scoring, no elimination, no wrong answers.

Round One: Completely Impersonal

Start here every time, because strangers need a few swings at something low-stakes before they will say anything real. Every pair in this round is about the world, not the person answering.

1. Mountains or ocean?
2. Summer or winter?
3. Morning or evening?
4. City or countryside?
5. Rain or sunshine?
6. Dogs or cats?
7. Books or films?
8. Coffee or tea?
9. Trains or planes?
10. Indoor or outdoor?
11. North or south?
12. Quiet or noise?

Round Two: Food and Habits

Food is the friendliest common ground there is, and habits reveal a surprising amount without asking anything personal. This round keeps the energy light but starts to hint at who people actually are.

1. Sweet or savoury?
2. Home-cooked or restaurant?
3. Early riser or night owl?
4. Cook from scratch or order in?
5. Snacker or three meals a day?
6. Spicy or mild?
7. Strong coffee or weak coffee?
8. Breakfast for dinner or dinner for breakfast?
9. Grocery list or wing it?
10. Leftovers or fresh every time?
11. Tea with milk or tea without?
12. Eat at the table or eat on the sofa?

Round Three: Weekends

What someone does on a free Saturday says a great deal more than their job title does. These pairs are still low-pressure but start to sketch in a personality.

1. Sleep in or get up early?
2. Plans or no plans?
3. Go out or stay in?
4. One long trip or several short ones?
5. Active weekend or restful weekend?
6. Alone time or people time?
7. Museum or market?
8. Long walk or long drive?
9. New place or favourite old haunt?
10. Catch up on things or ignore everything?
11. Dress up or stay in comfortable clothes all day?
12. Sunday film or Sunday sport?

Round Four: Mild Preferences

By round four the room is ready for pairs that lean a little closer to opinion. These are still safe, but they spark the first real debates of the night. Try 120 This or That Questions for Quick Fun if you want to keep the energy going after this round.

1. Window seat or aisle seat?
2. Physical book or e-reader?
3. Phone call or text?
4. Minimalist home or cosy cluttered home?
5. Planned route or get a little lost?
6. Punctual or fashionably late?
7. Routine or spontaneity?
8. Headphones in or headphones out?
9. Loud restaurant or quiet restaurant?
10. Notifications on or notifications off?
11. Souvenir shopper or experience only?
12. Reply immediately or reply when ready?

Round Five: Slightly More Personal

Here is where answers start to reveal something about values and energy, not just taste. The room is warm enough by now, so let it go a little deeper. For a group that wants even more personal territory after this, 22 Fun Party Games Guaranteed to Get Everyone Playing has plenty of next-step options.

1. Lead or follow?
2. Comfort zone or edge of it?
3. Talk it out or think it through alone?
4. Optimist or realist?
5. Driven by passion or driven by security?
6. Big group of friends or small close circle?
7. Learn by doing or learn by reading?
8. Risk it or play it safe?
9. Change with the plan or stick to the plan?
10. Praise in public or feedback in private?
11. Competitive or collaborative?
12. Move on quickly or sit with it?

Round Six: The Round Where People Actually Talk

Save this round for when the room has genuinely loosened up and people are leaning in rather than leaning back. These pairs tend to produce a pause before an answer, and that pause is where the real conversation begins.

1. More time or more money?
2. Be remembered or be forgotten in peace?
3. Know the future or change the past?
4. Live somewhere beautiful or live somewhere exciting?
5. Work you love for less pay or work you tolerate for more?
6. Say exactly what you think or keep the peace?
7. Deep roots or freedom to move?
8. One great passion or many interesting things?
9. Honest and blunt or kind and careful?
10. Simple life done well or ambitious life with the mess that comes with it?
11. Be highly skilled at one thing or reasonably good at everything?
12. Leave a legacy or just enjoy the time you have?

How to Keep It Moving and When to Stop

The single biggest mistake is forcing all six rounds in one sitting. Rounds One through Three work for any group at any stage. Stop after Round Three if people are still warm but not yet talking freely, because the conversations that matter are already happening at the table and no card should interrupt them.

Keep a two-minute rule per pair. Read it, let the room split, allow one or two people to explain, then move on. If a pair produces a fifteen-minute discussion, that is a success, not a problem. Set the next card down and let the group finish the thread before you pick it back up.

The cards are a tool for starting conversation, not for filling silence. Once the room is talking on its own, put the deck away. The goal is a room full of people who now know something real about each other, and the cards are just the nudge that gets them there. For a bigger party toolkit that pairs well with this game, see 15 Interactive Baby Shower Games That Get Everyone Involved or bookmark 120 Would You Rather Questions for Endless Fun for your next gathering.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many players do you need for this or that questions to get to know someone?

The game works best with four to twelve people. Smaller groups can run every round in one sitting. Larger groups benefit from splitting into tables of six or eight so everyone gets a turn to explain their answer.

Do you have to play all six rounds in order?

No, but the order matters. Rounds One through Three are deliberately impersonal, and skipping straight to Round Five or Six before a group is comfortable tends to produce polite silence instead of real conversation. Play the rounds in sequence and stop whenever the conversation no longer needs the cards.

Is this game suitable for all ages?

Rounds One through Four are appropriate for anyone from about age ten upward. Rounds Five and Six involve more reflective pairs about values and life choices, so they fit best for adults and older teenagers.

How do I print and prep the card decks?

Print each sheet on cardstock for durability. Laminate if you want the decks to last through multiple events. Cut along the dashed lines, sort by round, and hold each set together with a small binder ring or slip them into a labelled card box.

What if the group keeps getting stuck on the same card?

That is not a problem, it is the whole point. If a pair sparks a ten-minute conversation, set the deck aside and let people talk. Return to the cards only if the conversation stalls. The two-minute-per-pair guideline is for groups that need pace, not for groups that are already connecting.

Can I use these prompts without printing anything?

Yes. One person reads each pair aloud from a phone or printed list and the group calls out their answers. The printed cards make it easier to pass the reading role around the table and give the game a more polished, pick-up-and-play feel.