72 This or That Pairs That Sort a Room Into Types

These this or that personality questions do more than fill a gap between drinks: each pair is balanced so the room genuinely splits, and the pattern of answers at the end of the night says something real about who is sitting around your table. Five rounds, twelve pairs each, escalating from easy to genuinely revealing. Good for dinner parties, pre-game warm-ups, team nights, or any gathering where you want people to actually learn something about each other.

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How to Play

Read each pair aloud, or place a card face-up in the centre of the table. Every player calls their answer at the same time so no one anchors off anyone else. After each pair, anyone who wants to can give a one-sentence reason. Keep a loose tally: note which side of each round a player lands on more often, because the final section uses that pattern to say something about how they move through the world. No scoring, no wrong answers, no pressure to be consistent.

Morning or Night

This round is the warm-up, the one where people feel safe disagreeing loudly because the stakes feel low, and it almost always splits the room clean in two.

1. Alarm at 6 a.m. OR sleeping until you wake naturally?
2. Coffee before anything else OR shower before anything else?
3. Most productive work done before noon OR most productive work done after 10 p.m.?
4. Watching the sunrise OR watching the city quiet down after midnight?
5. Breakfast is the meal you care about most OR dinner is the meal you care about most?
6. Morning run to start the day OR late-night walk to end it?
7. Emails cleared before 9 a.m. OR emails ignored until afternoon?
8. Best ideas come in the shower at 7 a.m. OR best ideas come lying in bed at 1 a.m.?
9. A slow morning with nowhere to be OR a slow evening with nowhere to be?
10. The day feels wasted if you sleep past 9 OR the night feels wasted if you are in bed before midnight?
11. Napping in the afternoon OR pushing through and crashing early?
12. Golden-hour light in the morning OR golden-hour light in the evening?

Order or Chaos

By the second round people have loosened up, and these pairs start to show who genuinely needs structure to feel calm and who finds it suffocating.

1. A colour-coded calendar OR a running list scribbled on whatever is nearby?
2. Everything in its assigned place OR things live where they land and you know where that is?
3. One browser tab open at a time OR forty-seven tabs and you need all of them?
4. Inbox zero OR a four-thousand-email inbox that somehow works?
5. Folded laundry put away the same day OR clean laundry living on the chair for a week?
6. Recipes followed exactly OR recipes treated as suggestions?
7. A tidy desk helps you think OR a tidy desk stresses you out?
8. You make your bed every morning OR you get back into it so why bother?
9. Alphabetised bookshelf OR books shelved by colour or mood?
10. One focused task at a time OR four things running in parallel?
11. Spontaneous plans energise you OR spontaneous plans exhaust you?
12. You set a budget and stick to it OR you check your bank balance and then decide?

Alone or Together

This is the round that quietly separates the introverts from the extroverts, though a few people discover mid-round that they are more context-dependent than they thought.

1. Recharge best with a full day alone OR recharge best when you are around people you like?
2. Travel solo OR travel with someone who matches your pace?
3. Live alone in a place you love OR live with people who make noise?
4. Work from home alone OR work from a cafe surrounded by strangers?
5. A long dinner with two close friends OR a big dinner party with a mix of people?
6. Read in silence OR listen to a podcast while doing everything?
7. Solve a problem by thinking it through alone first OR talk it out immediately with someone you trust?
8. A solo road trip OR a road trip with the right playlist and the right person?
9. Prefer to give a toast with advance warning OR prefer to speak off the cuff in front of a crowd?
10. Your best creative work happens alone OR your best creative work happens in collaboration?
11. Saturday morning to yourself OR Saturday morning with people you love?
12. Celebrate good news quietly OR call everyone immediately?

Planning or Improvising

These pairs move the conversation past preference into habit, and the people who claim they are spontaneous but also booked their summer holiday in January will be found out here.

1. Book the restaurant a week ahead OR call on the way?
2. Pack three days before a trip OR pack the morning of?
3. Know the ending before you start writing OR discover it as you go?
4. Have a five-year plan OR have a rough direction and figure it out?
5. Prep all meals on Sunday OR decide what to eat when you open the fridge?
6. Rehearse what you will say before a hard conversation OR go in and see what happens?
7. Research a purchase for two weeks OR buy it the day you think of it?
8. Know the route before you leave OR use GPS and re-route as you go?
9. Set an agenda for a meeting OR let the conversation find its own shape?
10. Choose your outfit the night before OR choose it standing in front of the wardrobe?
11. Save a fixed amount automatically each month OR save whatever is left over?
12. Plan the perfect birthday celebration weeks out OR throw something together that somehow works?

Risk or Safety

The fifth round is where the answers get quiet for a second before people answer, because these pairs ask something that actually matters.

1. Quit a stable job for something you believe in OR stay and build from inside?
2. Move to a city where you know no one OR build deeper roots where you are?
3. Invest in something volatile with real upside OR put it somewhere boring and safe?
4. Tell someone how you feel before you know how they feel OR wait until you are sure?
5. Take the creative project public before it is ready OR keep refining until it is right?
6. Travel somewhere you know nothing about with minimal planning OR research it thoroughly and know what you are walking into?
7. Change careers at 35 OR master the one you are already in?
8. Say something honest that might cost you the relationship OR protect the relationship and carry the thought?
9. Start the business with your own savings OR wait until you find a partner or funding?
10. Accept a promotion that stretches you uncomfortably OR wait for one you feel ready for?
11. Publish the opinion OR keep it to yourself?
12. Trust a new person quickly OR take your time and watch first?

Frequently Asked Questions

How many players do you need for this or that personality questions?

The game works with as few as two people and as many as twenty. Larger groups move faster if you skip the reason-giving after each pair and save that for the end of a round.

Do you have to go through all five rounds in one sitting?

No. Each round stands alone. Play one round over dinner, another after dessert, or spread them across a whole evening. The escalation is intentional, so starting at Round One gives the room time to warm up before the stakes rise in Round Five.

How do you print the card sheets?

Print on heavy cardstock rather than copy paper so the cards hold up to handling. Laminate sheets before cutting for reuse. A small binder ring through one corner keeps each round together.

Is this game appropriate for a work team or professional setting?

Rounds One through Four work well in a professional context. Round Five includes pairs about career risk, finances and honest conversations, which are relevant at work but benefit from a room that already feels comfortable. Read the group before using it.

What do you do with the pattern of answers at the end?

The final section of the article, What Your Answers Suggest, gives a loose read of what a majority of morning, order, alone, planning or risk answers might say about how someone moves through the world. It is conversational, not diagnostic, and works best when the host reads it aloud and lets the room argue with it.

Can you play this without the printed cards?

Absolutely. Read the pairs from your phone or print a plain list. The cards just make the game feel more deliberate and give guests something to hold, which tends to slow people down in a good way.