Choose a large board (at least 40 x 55 cm). Draw an imaginary oval in the upper-centre and fill it completely with blackberries, packing them close so no board shows through.
Place two cucumber rounds toward the upper-middle of the oval for eyes. Set one blueberry between and just below them for the nose.
Snap 6 pretzel sticks to roughly 8 cm lengths. Press 3 on each side of the nose, angling outward, to form whiskers.
Stand two cheddar triangles upright at the top of the blackberry oval, pressing them in gently, to form the cat ears.
Tuck rows of cucumber slices along both sides of the blackberry oval to suggest the front paws.
Scatter cubed orange and aged cheddar in clusters around the outside edges of the board.
Fill the remaining gaps with cracker rounds and dark grape clusters.
Serve immediately or cover and refrigerate for up to 3 hours.