How To Be A Better Person: 14 Tips To Help You

You’ve probably caught yourself in those moments—snapping at someone you care about, scrolling past others’ struggles without a second thought, or making the same disappointing choices repeatedly. Here’s the thing: becoming a better person isn’t about dramatic transformation or perfection (trust me, I’ve tried that route and it’s exhausting). Instead, it’s about small, intentional shifts that compound over time, creating ripple effects you might not even notice at first—but others definitely will.

Practice Active Listening in Every Conversation

You’ve probably tuned out during conversations more times than you’d care to confess—I know I have, especially when my mind starts wandering to my never-ending to-do list or that embarrassing thing I said three weeks ago. Active listening—truly focusing on what someone’s saying without planning your next brilliant response—transforms you from just another person waiting for their turn to speak into someone who commands genuine respect.

Research shows people recollect conversations with active listeners 40% more positively, which translates to stronger relationships and increased influence. Try this: maintain eye contact, ask follow-up questions that show you’re tracking their thoughts, and resist the urge to interrupt with your own stories—trust me, your patience will pay dividends in deeper connections.

Cultivate Daily Gratitude Through Mindful Reflection

Active listening opens your heart to others, and that same receptive mindset becomes the foundation for recognizing life’s countless gifts that usually slip by unnoticed—like how your morning coffee tastes exactly right or the way sunlight hits your desk at 2 PM.

This is gratitude practice: the deliberate act of noticing what’s working in your life, even when everything feels chaotic. Research from UC Davis shows that people who write down three things they’re grateful for daily experience 25% higher happiness levels—and trust me, I was skeptical until I tried it myself.

Start small: notice your comfortable bed, your friend’s text message, or even your functioning internet connection. These micro-moments of appreciation rewire your brain’s default negativity bias, creating a foundation for genuine confidence and influence.

Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes Without Making Excuses

While gratitude shifts your perspective inward, owning your mistakes demonstrates the outward courage that separates genuine leaders from people who just talk a good game—and honestly, this one still makes my stomach clench every time I’ve to do it.

Taking responsibility builds what psychologists call “psychological safety” in relationships, creating space for others to trust your judgment when stakes are high:

1. Say “I was wrong” without adding “but” or “however”—these words signal you’re about to minimize your role, which undermines the entire apology
2. Focus on impact, not intent—explaining why you did something often sounds like justification, even when you mean well
3. Propose specific fixes immediately—vague promises like “I’ll do better” don’t demonstrate you understand what went wrong

People respect leaders who own their failures completely.

Show Genuine Interest in Others’ Lives and Experiences

The fastest way to become someone people actually want to be around isn’t mastering witty comebacks or perfecting your LinkedIn headshot—it’s developing what researchers call “other-focused attention,” which sounds fancy but really just means getting genuinely curious about the humans in front of you.

When you ask follow-up questions about someone’s weekend hiking trip or recall their dog’s name three conversations later, you’re wielding something more powerful than any networking strategy: authentic connection. Studies show people who demonstrate genuine interest are perceived as more influential and trustworthy—qualities that open doors you didn’t even know existed.

Stop scrolling through your mental to-do list during conversations; instead, lean in and discover what makes people tick, because influence flows naturally to those who truly see others.

Set Clear Boundaries to Protect Your Mental Health

Nobody teaches you in school that saying “no” without guilt is actually a superpower, yet here we’re as adults feeling like terrible humans every time we decline that extra project, skip the family drama session, or—heaven forbid—turn off our phones after 9 PM.

Here’s how to reclaim your mental bandwidth and establish boundaries that actually stick:

1. Practice the “24-hour rule”: When someone requests your time or energy, say “Let me check my schedule and get back to you”—this buys you space to make intentional decisions rather than people-pleasing ones.
2. Create physical boundaries: Designate work-free zones in your home, silence notifications during meals, and establish “office hours” for availability.
3. Use boundary scripts: “I can’t commit to that right now” or “That doesn’t work for me” are complete sentences—no elaborate explanations required.

Perform Random Acts of Kindness Without Expecting Recognition

Protecting your own well-being creates the foundation for genuinely caring about others—and that’s where the magic of anonymous kindness comes in. When you’re emotionally stable, you can give without depleting yourself—which, let’s be honest, is way more sustainable than burning out every few months.

Research shows that altruistic behavior activates the same reward centers as receiving money, but here’s the kicker: anonymous acts create even stronger neural responses because there’s no ego involvement.

Try paying for someone’s coffee without lingering for thanks, leaving encouraging sticky notes in library books, or quietly shoveling a neighbor’s walkway. These moments build what psychologists call “moral elevation”—that warm feeling that spreads when witnessing or performing goodness. You’re literally rewiring your brain for compassion while building genuine character.

Develop Emotional Intelligence Through Self-Awareness

While random kindness builds compassion outward, emotional intelligence starts with brutally honest inward reflection—and yes, it’s about as comfortable as watching yourself on video from that awkward middle school talent show.

Here’s your roadmap to emotional mastery:

1. Track your emotional triggers daily — notice what situations make you react versus respond, because self-aware leaders control their reactions instead of letting emotions hijack their decision-making
2. Practice the “pause technique” — take three seconds before responding to challenging situations, giving your prefrontal cortex time to override your amygdala’s fight-or-flight response
3. Journal your emotional patterns weekly — identify recurring themes in your reactions, since research shows people with higher emotional intelligence earn $29,000 more annually than their less self-aware counterparts

True power comes from understanding yourself first.

Keep Your Promises and Follow Through on Commitments

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Understanding your inner emotional landscape matters little if your outer actions don’t align with your words—and let’s be honest, we’ve all been that person who enthusiastically commits to helping a friend move, only to mysteriously develop a “sudden illness” when Saturday morning arrives.

Integrity becomes your currency when you consistently deliver on promises, and research shows that people who follow through build what psychologists call “social capital”—basically, others start viewing you as someone worth investing in.

Start small: if you promise to text back within an hour, actually do it. Track your commitments in a simple notebook or app, because our brains aren’t reliable storage systems. When you can’t follow through, communicate early and offer alternatives—this transparency actually strengthens relationships rather than damaging them.

Practice Empathy by Considering Different Perspectives

The moment someone cuts you off in traffic, your brain’s default setting kicks in—assuming they’re a selfish jerk who clearly doesn’t deserve a license—but here’s what neuroscientists have discovered about empathy: it’s actually a skill you can strengthen, like a muscle that gets better with practice.

Here’s how to develop this power:

1. Challenge your first judgment by asking “What else could be happening here?” Maybe that driver’s rushing to the hospital, dealing with a crisis, or genuinely didn’t see you.
2. Practice perspective-taking daily during conversations—before responding, pause and think “How would I feel if I were them right now?”
3. Seek out diverse viewpoints through books, documentaries, or conversations with people whose experiences differ from yours.

This cognitive flexibility becomes your strategic advantage in leadership situations.

Give Your Full Attention When Someone Needs Support

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When someone you care about starts sharing something difficult, your phone buzzes with notifications, your mind races toward solutions, and your mouth opens to offer advice—but psychological research reveals that this well-intentioned multitasking actually undermines the very connection you’re trying to create.

Your undivided presence communicates respect and validates their experience, creating the psychological safety that actually empowers them to find their own solutions.

Studies show that people feel most supported when listeners demonstrate “active attention”: nodding, reflecting emotions back (“That sounds incredibly frustrating”), and asking clarifying questions rather than jumping straight to problem-solving mode.

Here’s what actually works: silence your devices, make eye contact, and resist the urge to interrupt with your brilliant insights—I know, easier said than done when you’re itching to help.

Learn to Apologize Sincerely When You’ve Caused Harm

Most of us have mastered the art of the non-apology—you know, those cringe-worthy “I’m sorry you feel that way” statements that somehow make everything worse—but crafting a genuine apology that actually repairs relationships requires swallowing our pride and following a specific psychological formula.

Research shows effective apologies contain three essential elements:

1. Take complete ownership without deflecting blame or making excuses—say “I was wrong” instead of “mistakes were made”
2. Acknowledge the specific impact your actions had on the other person’s feelings, trust, or situation
3. Commit to concrete behavioral changes that demonstrate you’ve learned from the experience

Real apologies aren’t about saving face; they’re about rebuilding trust through vulnerability and accountability—two qualities that actually strengthen your influence with others.

Challenge Your Own Biases and Assumptions Regularly

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Since we’re all walking around with mental shortcuts that helped our ancestors survive but now make us judge people based on their coffee order, actively questioning your own biases isn’t just good for personal growth—it’s essential for traversing a world that’s far more complex than our stone-age brains were designed to handle.

Start by catching yourself mid-assumption: when you think “that person looks like trouble” or “they probably don’t understand,” pause and ask why. Research shows we form impressions within milliseconds—but you’ve got the power to slow down that process.

Keep a bias journal for a week, noting when you made snap judgments. You’ll be amazed (and probably horrified) at how often your brain defaults to stereotypes, but this awareness becomes your greatest tool for change.

Volunteer Your Time for Causes That Matter to You

While scrolling through social media and feeling overwhelmed by the world’s problems might be our generation’s default response to injustice, actually showing up to help—even for just two hours on a Saturday morning—transforms that helpless frustration into something tangible and surprisingly therapeutic.

Target your expertise: Match your professional skills to volunteer opportunities—lawyers can offer legal aid, marketers can help nonprofits with campaigns, and tech professionals can build websites for small organizations.

Start hyper-local: Focus on issues within a 20-mile radius first; you’ll see immediate results and build sustainable habits before tackling global causes.

Commit strategically: Choose one consistent monthly commitment over sporadic bursts—organizations need reliable advocates, not weekend warriors who disappear after the initial enthusiasm wears off.

Focus on Solutions Rather Than Dwelling on Problems

Volunteering naturally shifts your mindset from “what’s wrong with the world” to “what can I do about it,” but this solution-focused thinking deserves its own spotlight because it’s certainly the fastest way to upgrade your mental health, relationships, and general life satisfaction.

When you catch yourself spiraling into complaint mode—trust me, we’ve all been there—pause and ask: “What’s one small action I could take right now?” Research shows that solution-oriented people experience 23% less stress and report higher relationship satisfaction than chronic problem-dwellers.

Instead of saying “My boss is impossible,” try “I’ll document my concerns and schedule a conversation.” This mental shift transforms you from victim to architect of your circumstances, giving you the control and influence you’re seeking.

Conclusion

You’ve got this—becoming a better person isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. Start with one tip that resonates with you: maybe it’s practicing active listening during your next coffee chat, or setting that boundary you’ve been avoiding. Small, consistent actions create lasting change, and honestly, the world needs more people willing to grow. Recall, even your stumbles teach you something valuable about who you’re becoming.