10 Free Ways to Practice Self-Love Every Single Day

Okay, let’s talk about self-love for a hot minute. And before you roll your eyes and think I’m about to tell you to look in the mirror and recite affirmations about being a goddess (though honestly, if that works for you, keep doing it), let me be real with you.

I used to think self-love was this fluffy, Instagram-worthy concept that involved bubble baths and positive mantras. Like, if I just bought enough face masks and said nice things to myself, I’d magically transform into someone who actually liked herself. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work that way for me.

The truth is, self-love isn’t about convincing yourself you’re perfect. It’s about treating yourself like someone you actually care about, even when you’re being a hot mess. And especially when you’re being a hot mess, because that’s when you need it most.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

Here’s what I figured out after years of being my own worst critic. Self-love isn’t a destination you arrive at after fixing all your flaws. It’s a practice, like brushing your teeth or checking your email, except way more important and somehow harder to remember to do.

1. Talk to Yourself Like You’re Your Best Friend

This one sounds simple, but it’s actually revolutionary when you start paying attention to that voice in your head. You know, the one that’s constantly providing commentary on everything you do wrong?

I caught myself the other day telling myself I was “such an idiot” for forgetting my keys. And then I thought, would I ever say that to my friend Sarah if she forgot her keys? Hell no. I’d probably make a joke about it, help her figure out a solution, and move on with our day.

So now when I catch myself being mean to me, I literally ask: “What would I say to Sarah right now?” Then I say that to myself instead. It feels weird at first, like you’re talking to a stranger, but eventually that inner voice starts to soften.

Try this for a week and notice how often you’re being unnecessarily harsh with yourself. It’s probably more than you realize, and definitely more than you deserve.

“Be yourself and love yourself. Don’t try to be what you’re not, and don’t try not to be what you are.” – Leo Buscaglia

2. Create a Daily “Done List” Instead of Just To-Do Lists

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We’re obsessed with lists of things we haven’t done yet, but what about celebrating the stuff we actually accomplished? Every night before bed, I write down three things I did that day that I’m proud of.

And I’m not talking about curing cancer or winning awards. I’m talking about real stuff: I made coffee this morning. I answered a difficult email. I pet that dog I saw on my walk. I didn’t lose my temper when that person cut me off in traffic.

Small Wins That Count
Made your bed
Drank enough water
Listened to a friend
Chose a healthy snack
Took a shower
Finished a task you were avoiding
Said no to something you didn’t want to do

Some days the list is longer, some days it’s shorter, but there’s always something. Even on my worst days, when I feel like I’ve done nothing right, I can usually find three things. And writing them down makes them feel more real, more important.

It’s like giving yourself a little pat on the back before you go to sleep, which is way better than lying there thinking about everything you didn’t get done.

3. Set Boundaries Like Your Mental Health Depends on It (Because It Does)

Boundaries are basically self-love in action. They’re how you tell the world, and yourself, that your time and energy matter. But here’s the thing nobody tells you: boundaries feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to saying yes to everything.

I started small. Instead of immediately responding to every text, I’d wait until I actually had time to give a thoughtful response. Instead of saying yes to every social invitation, I’d ask myself if I actually wanted to go or if I just felt obligated.

“No” became my favorite complete sentence. No explanation needed, no apology required, just no. It felt revolutionary, like I’d discovered some secret superpower that nobody had told me I always had.

Books That Changed My Thinking About Boundaries:

• “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend – The classic guide that explains why boundaries aren’t selfish
• “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown – About letting go of who you think you’re supposed to be
• “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb – A therapist’s honest look at therapy and self-discovery

4. Practice the Art of Gentle Self-Correction

When you mess up, instead of launching into a full-scale self-attack, try gentle correction instead. Like how you’d redirect a toddler who’s about to touch something hot.

Instead of: “I’m so stupid, I always do this, I never learn.” Try: “Okay, that didn’t work out how I wanted. What can I do differently next time?”

It’s not about pretending mistakes don’t matter or giving yourself a free pass to mess up constantly. It’s about responding to your failures with curiosity instead of cruelty.

I started doing this after I realized I was spending more energy beating myself up about mistakes than actually learning from them. Now when I mess up, I try to channel my inner kindergarten teacher: firm but kind, focused on learning rather than punishment.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield

5. Create a Personal Cheerleader Playlist

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Music is basically emotional time travel, right? It can instantly transport you back to that summer when you felt invincible, or that night when you danced like nobody was watching because nobody was.

I made a playlist of songs that make me feel like I could conquer the world, or at least make it through another Tuesday. It’s a weird mix of everything from Lizzo to Disney songs to that one rap song that makes me feel like a badass even though I definitely am not.

Podcast Recommendations for Self-Love and Growth:

• “On Being” with Krista Tippett – Deep conversations about what it means to be human
• “The Life Coach School Podcast” with Brooke Castillo – Practical tools for managing your thoughts and emotions
• “Unlocking Us” with Brené Brown – Vulnerability, courage, and connection
• “The Happiness Lab” with Dr. Laurie Santos – Science-backed ways to live better

When I’m having a rough day, I put on my power playlist and clean my apartment, or take a walk, or just lie on my couch and let the music remind me that I’m capable of feeling good. Sometimes you need external reminders of your own awesomeness.

6. Give Yourself Permission to Change Your Mind

This one was huge for me. I used to think that changing my mind about things was a character flaw, like I was wishy-washy or unreliable. But actually, changing your mind is a sign that you’re growing, learning, paying attention to what works for you and what doesn’t.

Maybe you thought you wanted to be a morning person, but it turns out you’re more productive at night. Maybe you thought you loved that restaurant, but now it just tastes okay. Maybe you thought you had to keep that friend who always makes you feel bad about yourself.

You get to change your mind. About big things, small things, everything in between. Your preferences matter, and they’re allowed to evolve as you do.

7. Practice Saying Nice Things to Your Body

Your body is doing its best to keep you alive every single day, and most of the time we just complain about how it looks or what it can’t do. What if, instead, we said thank you once in a while?

I started with small stuff. “Thanks, legs, for carrying me up those stairs.” “Thanks, hands, for making that coffee.” “Thanks, eyes, for letting me see that sunset.” It feels ridiculous at first, but then it starts feeling normal, and then it starts feeling good.

Your body isn’t your enemy, even when it doesn’t look like what you see in magazines. It’s literally keeping you alive right now, pumping blood and processing oxygen and healing cuts without you having to think about it. That deserves some appreciation.

“Your body is not your masterpiece — your life is. It is suggested to you that you develop the interests, skills, and values that will allow you to go out into the world and contribute to it in meaningful ways, while also taking care of your body.” – Glennon Doyle

8. Create Tiny Rituals That Feel Like Self-Care

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Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. It can be as simple as using your favorite mug for your morning coffee, or taking three deep breaths before you get out of your car, or putting on hand lotion and actually paying attention to how it feels.

I have this thing where I light a candle every evening when I get home from work, even if it’s just for ten minutes while I change clothes. It’s this tiny signal to myself that the workday is over and I’m transitioning into home mode. Cost: basically nothing. Impact: surprisingly big.

Daily Self-Love Ritual Ideas:

Morning	Afternoon	Evening
Stretch in bed before getting up	Take 5 deep breaths at lunch	Write down 3 good things from today
Use your favorite mug	Step outside for 2 minutes	Put on soft pajamas
Listen to one favorite song	Text yourself a compliment	Apply face cream mindfully
Look out the window	Drink water slowly	Light a candle or dim lights

9. Learn Something New Just Because You Want To

Not for your resume, not to impress anyone, not because you should, but because it sounds interesting to you right now. Learning new things reminds you that you’re capable of growth, that your brain is still curious and flexible.

I started learning Spanish on Duolingo, not because I have plans to travel anywhere, but because I like how it sounds and it makes me feel smart when I figure out what “el gato” means. (It means “the cat,” which I find delightfully simple.)

Free YouTube Channels for Learning New Things:

• Crash Course – Makes everything from history to psychology actually interesting
• TEDx Talks – Ideas worth spreading, from people who know stuff
• The Art Assignment – Creative projects you can do at home
• Khan Academy – Learn basically anything for free
• Great Big Story – Short documentaries about fascinating people and places

The point isn’t to become an expert or add another skill to your LinkedIn profile. It’s to remind yourself that you’re interesting, that you’re worth investing time in, that your curiosity matters.

10. Forgive Yourself for Being Human

This is the big one, the one that underlies all the others. You’re going to mess up. You’re going to have days when you don’t practice any of these things, when you’re mean to yourself, when you feel like you’re failing at basic human stuff.

And that’s okay. That’s not a reason to give up on yourself, it’s just proof that you’re human, and being human is complicated and messy and nobody gets it right all the time.

I used to think that self-love meant I’d never have bad days or negative thoughts about myself. But actually, self-love means having bad days and choosing to stick with yourself anyway. It means being patient with your own process, your own timeline, your own very human way of figuring things out.

“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” – Yogi Bhajan

A Weekly Self-Love Check-In:

Every Sunday evening, ask yourself these questions:

• What did I do this week that I’m proud of?
• How did I show myself kindness?
• What do I need more of next week?
• What do I need less of?
• How can I be gentler with myself?

Additional Resources for Your Self-Love Journey

Must-Read Books:

• “Self-Compassion” by Dr. Kristin Neff – The science behind being kind to yourself
• “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero – Funny, practical advice for loving your life
• “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer – About connecting with your inner self
• “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert – Creative courage and living beyond fear

YouTube Channels Worth Following:

• Kati Morton – Mental health education made accessible
• The School of Life – Philosophy and psychology for everyday life
• Anna Akana – Honest, funny talks about mental health and self-improvement

The Bottom Line Truth

Self-love isn’t about thinking you’re perfect or never having doubts. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show a good friend. It’s about recognizing that you’re worthy of care and attention, even when you’re struggling, even when you’re not where you want to be yet.

These ten practices aren’t magic bullets that will instantly make you love everything about yourself. They’re tools, small ways to shift how you relate to yourself, how you talk to yourself, how you treat the person who lives in your skin.

Start with one that feels doable. Maybe it’s the done list, or the nice things to your body, or just trying to catch yourself when you’re being unnecessarily harsh. Do that one thing for a week and see how it feels. Then maybe add another one.

Remember, you’re not trying to become someone else. You’re trying to become friends with who you already are. And that person, with all their flaws and quirks and messy humanity, deserves love. Especially from you.

Because at the end of the day, you’re the one person you’ll definitely be stuck with for your whole life. You might as well make it a friendship worth having.